I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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