I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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