I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
