We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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