I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
