"it" just moved
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
