This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She's just so happy...and so naked.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
