So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
