8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
