Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
