Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
