so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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