I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
