I feel like abortions should bother me more
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
