hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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