Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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