So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
