so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
