I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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