I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
