i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
