oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
