We're like a lot better than the average bears
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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