you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
