marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
