You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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