I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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