I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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