I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
