lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
