Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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