rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
