Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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