It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
