What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
