when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
