I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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