he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
