I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
