I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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