i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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