Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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