you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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