This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
