Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize