youre lurking in front of me
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
