dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
