So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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