i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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