Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
