I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
