handjob tips. give me some.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
