redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
