you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
