I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
