I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
