In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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