He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
