spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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