Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
