you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
