just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
