im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
