with your own penis?
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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